Breast Implants Help a Rare Heart Condition

What would you do -- total panic notwithstanding -- if doctors were to find your heart beating under your kidney?

In a case so rare it has no medical name -- but is being described only as “a floating heart,” -- a Florida woman’s heart was found to be shifting around in her body. Doctors found it stuck in her rib cage under her kidney.

According to news reports, the 35-year-old woman’s right lung had been removed long ago, leaving space for her heart in which to wander around.

Having never seen the condition before, physicians were at a loss to come up with a treatment. One doctor said the patient was the only person in the world with the disorder.

The treatment? Breast implants!


Robert Rey, M.D. of Dr. 90210 fame shows a breast
implant
(Photo, courtesy of Dr. Rey.)

It required a four and one-half hour operation, but breast implants -- used in the standard breast augmentation procedure -- filled the space where the lung used to be and holds the heart in the correct position.

“Clever idea, actually,” says Robert Kotler, M.D., a board certified Beverly Hills cosmetic surgeon. “The chest surgeons used the breast implants as a large-space ‘filler’.”

Editor’s note: Dr. Kotler is one half of the Tuck ‘n’ Stitch bloggers.

Top 10 Cosmetic Surgery Lawsuits

Taking Botox to court is something akin to suing Santa Claus. Almost everybody likes Botox as much as Santa, so how would you get a jury to vote against either one? Only time will tell….about Botox, that is.

Three months before Christmas, Santa is certainly on safe ground.

So nobody is suing Santa. Yet, anyhow. But in January, all bets are off!

Given the number of lawyers looking for something to do, the Momma-put-a-lump-of-coal-in-my-Xmas-stocking class action lawsuit is just around the corner.


(Pamela Moore photo)

Patrick Hudson, M.D., a plastic surgeon in New Mexico, located some insider statistics that show which plastic surgery procedures are most likely to lead to the court house.

Here are the top ten litigated procedures, along with the percentages of actions the procedure draws. More.

1. Nose surgery……………………..22 %
2. Breast reduction………………….17 %
3. Eyelid surgery……………………16%
4. Breast enlargement……………….13%
5. Face lift…………………………… 9%
6. Various………………………… 7%
7. Breast reconstruction…………..… 6%
8. Tummy tuck……………………… 5%
9. Liposuction……………………….. 3%
10. Facial resurfacing………………. …2%

Nose surgery heads the list because it’s the most difficult plastic surgery procedure to learn and perform. More.

Breast reduction involves removing a lot of tissue; however, eyelid surgery is a surprise because it is supposed to be one of the easier procedures to perform. Breast enlargement made its way onto the list because it’s very popular, with 329,000 patients undergoing the procedure in 2007, the most recent year for which statistics exist. A tummy tuck involves a long incision across the abdomen so insurance companies should be thankful the percentage is relatively low. Ditto breast reconstruction.

Hint: If, for some reason, you aren’t satisfied with the outcome of your plastic surgery, two eminent Beverly Hills cosmetic plastic surgeons, Drs. Robert Kotler and Stuart Linder, tell the top five constructive things to do if your procedure does not go well.

Read their blog, Top 5 Remedies for Unsatisfying Plastic Surgery.

Nose Job Complication? Use Honey!

One of the possible complications of a rhinoplasty is a case of sinusitis. But there’s a, uh, sweet cure for it -- honey. Now, plastic surgeons must figure out the best way to spread the stuff inside your schnoz. (Read more about nose job complications.)


(Photo credit: sxc.hu/nkzs)

What’s more, honey in medicine is nothing new -- it has been used since the time of the ancient Egyptians as a natural anti-microbial dressing. Read more.

Back in present time, Canadian researchers, lead by Dr. Joseph G. Marsan at the University of Ottawa, used honey in the lab on the bacteria that cause sinusitis. The problem has always been that super-powerful germs hide inside the nose under a thick covering known as biofilms, which can’t be penetrated by “even the most power anti-microbials,” according to Dr. Marsan.

Plastic Surgery Procedures

Two certain types of honey, Manuka honey from New Zealand and Sidr honey from Yemen, are powerful enough to zap through the biofilm and kill the bacteria. (Read the whole report.)

So will plastic surgery procedures have fewer complications?

The next step: do you sniff, spread, inject, swallow, or hold the honey under your tongue to get it inside your snout? Don’t know yet. Hey, no worries, they’re working on it!

Mother’s Milk for Upscale Diners?

There’s a standard list of questions a patient should ask when considering any type of breast surgery.

But, given that some places are now offering expensive dishes that contain mother’s milk, here are some more appropriate questions to ask plastic surgeons before a breast procedure:

1. If I have a breast lift, will my milk still mix well in a Crème Brule sauce for braised tenderloin tips and asparagus?

2. If I go ahead with a breast enhancement, will surgery do anything to the milk to spoil the appeal of curry in a nice breast milk creamy sauce with tender bits of Rock Island lobster tails?

3. Will a breast reduction affect the formulation and consistency of breast milk used in Bosomberry milk ice cream?

Here’s how it all came about:

Swiss Restaurateur Hans Locher, head honcho of the restaurant Storchen (Little Stork in German) intended to serve a special soup and a recipe calling for antelope steak with mother’s milk sauce. Another dish consists of small chunks of meat, also in a creamy milk sauce.


Hans Locher with his favorite recipes.
(Swiss Info photo)

For supply, Hans lined up some new moms who were willing to sell breast milk for $14.50 a quart.

Gastronomes were, ah, udderly delighted. But the authorities declared that mother’s milk for the public is verboten. Read more about Hans.

On the other side of the globe, the Chinese were not to be outdone in tapping a seemingly heretofore unknown market and started offering fresh poached abalone and perch in a human breast milk sauce. More.


Poached abalone and Perch in a creamy sauce.
(BBC News photo.)

Said the restaurant owner: “When customers are having the human milk banquet, they can experience maternal love at the same time.”

In the United States, a California entrepreneur first used his wife’s breast milk to create the following cheeses:

• Holy’s Original Blend

• Mothers’ Milk Maid Cheese

• Miss Cheese.

Care to guess what the not-so-shy guy named his business? Hooterville Farms!

You can even email them and inquire about other products like YoGoGirls yougurt or his Chunky Mammal and Bosomberry ice creams, also containing, well, hey, you’ve got the picture now.

Just go to http://www.hootervillefarms.com and check it out.

Okay, you’re a wonderful sport for hanging in there, but you’ve been had! I went for it too and quickly saw that Hootervillefarms.com is actually a shameless link farm that has nothing at all to do with mother’s milk. (But an off-kilter article says it’s the real deal. Read it just for fun.)

Nonetheless, the rest of our report is true! Really!

It seems Hans started something. PETA read about his restaurant and is now asking Ben & Jerry’s to give up cow milk for human breast milk in their ice cream. (We’re NOT making this up….read more.)

Now, here’s the disclaimer part: kill joy health inspectors say you should not actually consume any real dishes containing human breast milk because nobody knows the health status of the donor.

Now that we took care of that chore, I would like to point out that a McGill University study of 14,000 children reveals that breastfeeding results in a higher I.Q.
Read more.

If it works for babies, won’t it also help adults?

Robot Surgery: Like Playing a Video Game!

Gamers, check it out!

You have the manual dexterity necessary to become a top surgeon! Using a robot, no less.

Says a top surgeon: “Using the da Vinci surgical robot is almost like paying a video game, like Play Station 3.” So declares Michael Hibner, M.D., director of gynecological surgery at St. Joseph’s Hospital and Medical Center in Phoenix. Read more.



A game hip surgeon working a surgical robot.
(Arizona Republic photo)

Breast Augmentation

So hey, why continue in your present job when you can game all day? And help people, too. (Of course, you have to graduate from medical school but, hey, that’s only eight years or so.)

One surgeon already tried using a robot for breast augmentation but she says she could not get the results she wanted. More.

Dr. 90210 Plastic Surgeon as Artist?

Q: What type of plastic surgery starts with reading all the art books any art student must know?

A: High-definition LipoSculpture.

John Millard, M.D., one of the doctors seen on Dr. 90210, learned to combine art with medicine and sculpts not stone, but people.

So who needs it?

Fitness and iron pumping buffs who strain, toil and sweat for endless hours in the gym to create bulging muscles….that are hidden by just a little fat.

Most of us would be thrilled to look like the people in the doc’s before pictures. But people who have undergone high-definition liposuction look like a living Venus de Milo (with arms, of course!) or an Arnold Schwarzenegger in his heyday.

What does Dr. Millard do differently? He learned where the most arty places are on the human body and now uses his plastic surgery skills to allow those pumped up muscles to shine through in all their glory. Not to get too high brow here, but it’s a concept known as negative space. Read more about High-Definition Liposculpture and art concepts.

Before and After Plastic Surgery Photos

The before and after pictures below show a 43-year-old woman who works out in the gym five days a week.

Her after picture shows what a high-def LipoSculpture looks like when just the right amount of fat is taken from just the right places…exactly like you might find in an book for art students.


Before.


After

It works for guys, too. Pictured below is a 34-year-old firefighter who has been a body builder for about 15 years.


Before Hi-def LipoSculpture


After.

(Photos courtesy of John Millard, M.D.)

Plastic Surgery is a Star in Burn after Reading

Plastic surgery is often in the movies in Korea; in fact, rejuvenation surgery is a constant theme. (Read our blog about one Korean plastic surgery flick.)

Now, plastic surgery drives the wacky plot of the current highest grossing U.S. movie, Burn After Reading.


John Malkovich stars in Joel and Ethan Cohen’s dark spy comedy, BURN AFTER READING, a Focus Features release. (Photo credit: Focus Features)

The movie starts as Linda, an aging gym instructor (played by Frances McDormand) sees a plastic surgeon and finds her basic rejuvenation is going to require four, “major” procedures. (READ: equal to the annual gross national product of the Isle of Man, the Kingdom of Yap and the Isle of Dogs.)

She decides on a combined breast lift and breast augmentation; liposuction, and a face lift, including rhinoplasty.

Linda’s gym sidekick and fitness instructor, Chad, who is played by Brad Pitt, is a charming but totally self-possessed dolt and all-round airhead.

Because the movie is set in Washington, D.C., a former C.I.A. operative, Osborne, (played by John Malkovich,) has penned a tell-all book about the morons who run the nation’s spy agency. But Osborne loses the book -- written on a CD -- at the gym, aptly named Hardbodies.

Costs of Plastic Surgery

The action then gets a kick in the pants when Linda lays her hands on the tell-all book and assumes it’s real, classified intelligence worth the GNP of several large nations. She and Chad then concoct a dopey scheme to blackmail the author, collect a mountain of cash and pony up for the costs of plastic surgery.

The rest of the movie is a riot of confused identities, deadly pratfalls, mistaken shootings, bedroom intrigues and a handful of bodies that need hiding, along with some stark raving madness, aptly performed by George Clooney who plays Harry, a U.S. Marshal who repeats about 20 times daily that he never fired his gun in 20 years on the job.

Before and After Plastic Surgery Pictures

The movie ends with a C.I.A. big-wig trying to figure out how it all happened, where to hide the bodies, how much payoff cash to allow, and what, if anything, the agency is supposed to have learned from the zaniness.

You’re probably wondering how Linda looks in her before and after plastic surgery pictures. But we are sworn never to give away the endings!