Shaking the Booty -- Women and Men Gone Wild

While the trend of augmenting buttocks has taken off in the United States, it has now reached the continent of Africa where they have a new reason for shakin’ it.

It all happened because of a hit song known as “Big Bottom” in the African nation, Ivory Coast.

Here’s a YouTube take on it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8dH-4T6fwpw.

Ivory Coast recording artists D.J. Mix and DJ Eloh penned a smash hit, Bobaraba, or, “Big Bottom” in the local Djoula language, intending the tune as a compliment to women with larger bottoms. So when the song plays, many women and a few more men (including macho soccer stars) crowd the dance floor to shake their respective Bobarabas.

(Nobody at the American consulate seems to know if K.C. and the Sunshine Band’s top hit, “Shake, Shake, Shake, Shake Your Booty” has been translated into Djoula.)


Authentic Bobarabas
shaking.

The trend only goes astray as more and more women try to enhance their rear ends by using cheap ($2 each) Chinese supplied vitamin B-12 shots. Unfortunately, B-12 shots only cure vitamin B-12 insufficiency. More.


Authentic, enthusiastic Bobarabas
shaking. (Bazil.Rauback.SXC photo)


Imagine what will happen when the trend reaches America where many plastic surgeons offer buttocks augmentation of the female derrière.

A conversation like this may take place in thousands of American homes:

Wife: Darling, do I look fat in this dress?

Husband: I ain’t touchin’ that question with a ten-foot pole!

Wife: No, really. If my booty isn’t “big bottom” enough, I want to get it enlarged.

Husband: What’s this going to cost me?

Wife: What’s the difference? Don’t you want me to be happy?

Husband: Happiness is having a big bottom?

Wife: Sure! You can’t really dance the Bobaraba with a skinny ol’ bottom like mine! Oh, boo-hoo, boo-hoo! (She’s thinking, “Now! Hit the waterworks!”)

Husband: How ‘bout an unlimited supply of some nice B-12 shots? (Ah-ha! So the husband has been reading the Ivory Coast news!)

Wife: Nope! I want the real thing! I want buttocks augmentation from a plastic surgeon seen on television, with his own fan club and movie star patients. (And she has been watching a lot of American television!)

Husband: Uh, well, B-12 shots are quicker. (He reads the Ivory Coast news daily.)

Wife: Oh, boo-hoo, boo-hoo. You don’t love me! You want me to have a flat bottom! (She’s thinking, “I hope this works; I can’t cry much more!”)

Husband: O.K. forget the B-12 shots. Here’s a blank check for the buttocks enlargement! (He’s thinking: “Maybe now I won’t have to spend the week end moving that 900 pound, 18-piece sectional couch all over the living room to new positions so she can have it back where it first was!”)

Attention husbands and wives: under the strict medical and scientific guidelines known as “looking before you leap,” here’s more on what buttocks augmentation is all about.

The next thing we would all like to know: who’s going to write the next hit song about shaking it in the U.S. bottoms?

Internet Plastic Surgery Giveaways

Ever hear of “owning a piece of the rock?” Well, the same concept is being applied to plastic surgery.

Back in 2004, Linda Peacegrove, a Swedish model, suffered a personal and professional loss when medical treatments following a thyroid gland surgery left her, well, let’s just say, severely bosom challenged.



So she put up a website, asking for donations toward a breast augmentation. We would love to tell you the name of the now-404 website but it currently redirects to an XXX-explicit Web site you would not want your ten-year-old to see. (Hey, you would not want your 40-year-old husband to see this site!) And the Web site is in Sweden. Enough said?

Anyhow, Linda tossed in the towel when she only received $808 from a tight-fisted public toward the $6000 needed for surgery.

Help a Girl Fill a Sweater!”

The next Internet donation request for plastic surgery came from the United States where a 23-year-old student -- who identifies herself only as “Michel” with a 34A bosom -- bemoaned her lot and asked computer users to “help a girl fill a sweater!” and pass the electronic hat for her breast enhancement fund.

Results? The milk of human kindness never flowed so abundantly!

In about a year, total strangers donated the required $4500. After the procedure, Michel posted tasteful (READ: with clothes) before-and-after pictures on her website as an all-purpose thank you. (We would also love to mention the name of her website but in the last two years, nasty, nasty X-rated ads have been added to this site, too!) However, we have posted pictures of Michel (below) that give you an idea of the, er, full impact that random acts of kindness can achieve.

Michel shows the results wrought by her adoring public:

The bottom picture shows Michel before she started asking for donations. She’s wearing the same top in both pictures.


before

after

You may think a 23-year-old having rejuvenation surgery is pretty unusual. However, somebody as young as Michel having plastic surgery is becoming more of a trend. For a closer look at people in their 20s having plastic surgery, take a look at our CosmeticSurgery.com article, Restylane & Juvederm: New Accessories for 20-Somethings.

(By the way, we did not crop her pictures. Michel may be bold about asking for help but she’s also shy about showing her whole face on the Internet.)

After that, Nicole, another student, then 26, noted Michel’s success and publicly decried her own bony haunches by putting up a now-defunct website. Her purpose? Nicole wanted $6,000 for a buttocks augmentation, declaring her rear end was as thin as a Jenny Craig instructor in Bangladesh during famine. But Nicole called it quits after the milk of human kindness could only squeeze out a paltry $155.

Breast Implants: No Charge!

The latest and largest Internet attempt to draw on the kindness of total strangers is MyFreeImplants.com.

Here’s how it works: Women over 18 post their clothed head-and-body shots along with a two or three line bio and plea for donations while identifying themselves by first name only.

Guys -- known on this site as “benefactors” -- chip in with whatever they can afford. But first, they must shell out for “message credits” priced at $1.20 each. To send the women emails, benefactors pay with the message credits. When the donations beyond message credits are sufficient, the woman has a breast enhancement surgery and then posts thank you notes, along with more-or-less clothed, before-and-after pictures. (They aren’t X-rated but they are also pretty far from PG13!)

Eight women are posted on the home page with the amounts they claim to have raised, from $145 to $5765.

And why would guys make donations to a total stranger? Even if it is a lovely stranger? Who becomes a very well-endowed stranger? Guys being guys, don’t they ask for something tangible in return for their money?

“There are a million different reasons why men donate,” says co-founder Jay Moore, an M.B.A. who helped put up the website as a hobby. “Some expect sexy pictures, others just want to chat, establish a friendship, talk about problems and some are just philanthropists.”
The site claims five million page views monthly.


Rita Rudner

But before contributing anything, it might be a good idea to mention one of comedienne Rita Rudner’s on-point observations about human nature. She said: “Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it’s quite the opposite: A woman with large breasts makes men stupid.”