Top 10 Cosmetic Surgery Lawsuits

Taking Botox to court is something akin to suing Santa Claus. Almost everybody likes Botox as much as Santa, so how would you get a jury to vote against either one? Only time will tell….about Botox, that is.

Three months before Christmas, Santa is certainly on safe ground.

So nobody is suing Santa. Yet, anyhow. But in January, all bets are off!

Given the number of lawyers looking for something to do, the Momma-put-a-lump-of-coal-in-my-Xmas-stocking class action lawsuit is just around the corner.


(Pamela Moore photo)

Patrick Hudson, M.D., a plastic surgeon in New Mexico, located some insider statistics that show which plastic surgery procedures are most likely to lead to the court house.

Here are the top ten litigated procedures, along with the percentages of actions the procedure draws. More.

1. Nose surgery……………………..22 %
2. Breast reduction………………….17 %
3. Eyelid surgery……………………16%
4. Breast enlargement……………….13%
5. Face lift…………………………… 9%
6. Various………………………… 7%
7. Breast reconstruction…………..… 6%
8. Tummy tuck……………………… 5%
9. Liposuction……………………….. 3%
10. Facial resurfacing………………. …2%

Nose surgery heads the list because it’s the most difficult plastic surgery procedure to learn and perform. More.

Breast reduction involves removing a lot of tissue; however, eyelid surgery is a surprise because it is supposed to be one of the easier procedures to perform. Breast enlargement made its way onto the list because it’s very popular, with 329,000 patients undergoing the procedure in 2007, the most recent year for which statistics exist. A tummy tuck involves a long incision across the abdomen so insurance companies should be thankful the percentage is relatively low. Ditto breast reconstruction.

Hint: If, for some reason, you aren’t satisfied with the outcome of your plastic surgery, two eminent Beverly Hills cosmetic plastic surgeons, Drs. Robert Kotler and Stuart Linder, tell the top five constructive things to do if your procedure does not go well.

Read their blog, Top 5 Remedies for Unsatisfying Plastic Surgery.

Plastic Surgery is a Star in Burn after Reading

Plastic surgery is often in the movies in Korea; in fact, rejuvenation surgery is a constant theme. (Read our blog about one Korean plastic surgery flick.)

Now, plastic surgery drives the wacky plot of the current highest grossing U.S. movie, Burn After Reading.


John Malkovich stars in Joel and Ethan Cohen’s dark spy comedy, BURN AFTER READING, a Focus Features release. (Photo credit: Focus Features)

The movie starts as Linda, an aging gym instructor (played by Frances McDormand) sees a plastic surgeon and finds her basic rejuvenation is going to require four, “major” procedures. (READ: equal to the annual gross national product of the Isle of Man, the Kingdom of Yap and the Isle of Dogs.)

She decides on a combined breast lift and breast augmentation; liposuction, and a face lift, including rhinoplasty.

Linda’s gym sidekick and fitness instructor, Chad, who is played by Brad Pitt, is a charming but totally self-possessed dolt and all-round airhead.

Because the movie is set in Washington, D.C., a former C.I.A. operative, Osborne, (played by John Malkovich,) has penned a tell-all book about the morons who run the nation’s spy agency. But Osborne loses the book -- written on a CD -- at the gym, aptly named Hardbodies.

Costs of Plastic Surgery

The action then gets a kick in the pants when Linda lays her hands on the tell-all book and assumes it’s real, classified intelligence worth the GNP of several large nations. She and Chad then concoct a dopey scheme to blackmail the author, collect a mountain of cash and pony up for the costs of plastic surgery.

The rest of the movie is a riot of confused identities, deadly pratfalls, mistaken shootings, bedroom intrigues and a handful of bodies that need hiding, along with some stark raving madness, aptly performed by George Clooney who plays Harry, a U.S. Marshal who repeats about 20 times daily that he never fired his gun in 20 years on the job.

Before and After Plastic Surgery Pictures

The movie ends with a C.I.A. big-wig trying to figure out how it all happened, where to hide the bodies, how much payoff cash to allow, and what, if anything, the agency is supposed to have learned from the zaniness.

You’re probably wondering how Linda looks in her before and after plastic surgery pictures. But we are sworn never to give away the endings!

Artist Rakes in Money with Tattoos on Swine and People

A leading service among plastic surgeons is tattoo removal. It’s known as “labor intensive” because the patients must return to the plastic surgeon anywhere from two to six times and let the doc do erasing work with a laser.

Basically, the cosmetic surgeon zaps the ink in the tat with a laser. (Read more about cosmetic tattoo removal.)

But when a tattoo is considered art -- and fetches a king’s ransom -- you gotta think about leaving it on.

Wim Delvoye, a Belgian artist living in Beijing, China, started by tattooing eight pigs with designs reportedly similar to Louis Vuitton logos. (Animal lovers, chill! The porkers, shown below, were anesthetized!) A few swine were inked with Walt Disney characters.


Artist Wim Delvoye and his four-footed canvases
(Ananova.com photo)

After the oinkers have lived a long and productive life, the pig skins will be sold for $120,000 each. (Can you imagine -- a Louis Vuitton football? What a way to get more chicks into the NFL! Can’t you just hear the girl talk now? “They fumbled a Vuitton Beaubourg in the first quarter and then tried an on-side kick with a Mahina XXL clutch in the 4th!”)
(Read more about the tattooed pigs.)

Tattoo Removal

The following will make tattoo removal experts worldwide cringe, but Wim’s latest project was inking an elaborate tat of the Virgin Mary on the back of Tim Steiner, a 32-year-old Swiss man who is cashing in on his tattoo.

Here’s how: Wim did his usual masterful job and sold the artwork on Tim’s back to a German art collector for a cool $275,000. The cash is split among the art gallery that arranged the sale, Wim and Tim. More.


Tim Steiner, a two-legged canvas
(Paolo Foschini photo)

Then, not unlike the pigs, Tim hopefully goes on living a long and productive life. Now, I know what you’re thinking and that’s not it -- Tim does not -- repeat, NOT -- become a football!!

Plastic Surgeons Verboten

Instead, many decades from now, just before Tim is laid down for a dirt nap, the skin of his back is removed and the Virgin Mary tat becomes the sole property of the art dealer who can sell it if he wishes.

And that’s not all. Contractually, Tim must display his back in public three times yearly to art lovers worldwide.

However, plastic surgeons who know how to remove tattoos are verboten in the shows!

Top 7 Plastic Surgery Foods

1. Beer for Breast Growth

Okay, so it’s not food! And it won’t replace professional breast augmentation any time soon. But beer has massive amounts of nutrients, as any dedicated beer drinker will attest after he (or sometimes, she) has gained a huge stomach. (They don’t call it a beer belly for nothing!)


Boza Beer -- brewed in Bulgaria
(TheMightyQuill photo)

But this beer promises to enlarge breasts and not stomachs! Boza Beer in Bulgaria is now big business because European Union members are traveling there to bring Boza back to their significant others….by the case. Will the suds be a cohort to the King of Beers, join royalty and become known as the Queen of Beers? And why not? We’ve got Queens of various nations, such as England and Denmark, as well as the Queen of Country Music, the Queen of the Hop, the Queen of Mean, the Queen of Soul and the royalty who rule the Isle of Dogs and the Kingdom of Yap. More.

2. The F-Cup Cookie


(Nippon photo)

You must travel to Japan to munch this product, but the buzz is that a couple of “special” cookies a day will eventually create an F-sized bustline, thereby replacing the need for surgical breast augmentation. Supposedly, the eats contain a “secret” Asian ingredient that mimics estrogen, the female hormone. Read more. A plastic surgeon’s take? Not likely!

3. Lollipop Weight Loss

Have you ever wondered what’s up with Hollywood celebrities being seen with a lollipop jammed into their mouths? At first, I personally thought it was a refreshing new wave of juvenile regression, with pseudo-adults making the quarter leap necessary to get back to full childhood.


Britney Spears with a lollipop.
(TMZ Photo)

But, no, it could be more unbelievable than that. There is actually such a thing as a weight loss lollipop. The magic ingredient this time? An African herb known as hoodia gordoni. And why a lollipop? It’s the delivery method.
You’re supposed to consume hoodia slo-o-o-o-wly for it to knock off the pounds. More.

(If you’re interested, read about body contouring, the plastic surgery procedure for people who have lost massive amounts of weight -- without any lollipops.)

4. Chocolate Facial

This is a fantastic development! Talk about a total regression to childhood! You get to wear chocolate all over your face like you did when you were a kid; licking the bowl when mom baked a cake. What’s more, this facial supposedly replaces the need for not-so-tasty, facial skin rejuvenations such as dermabrasion or facial peels.

If you’re on the more mature side, you don’t have to ask for a so-called “chocolate facial.” It’s also known as a CoCo2 facial. More.

5. Botox Cookie

Ever notice how wrinkled your tongue is? Lots of grooves and wrinkly tissues in there? Well, a picture is worth one thousand words, right?


In the U.K., a U.S. cookie is known as a “biscuit.”
(Photo: Botox biscuit by su-lin via Flickr)

Well, it appears a couple of pranksters at Flickr.com put a cookie (hey, not the F-cup kind! Wrong procedure!) in a Botox container and took a picture. You can’t really buy a Botox cookie, but the concept is more interesting than a weight loss lollipop, don’t you think?

6. Cosmetics for Meat and Fish

While we’re on the topic of plastic surgery and food, there is one type of food that may be getting its own type of cosmetic makeover.

The U.S. meat industry wants to pass H.R. 3115, a bill which would allow the industry to treat meat, fowl, and fish with carbon monoxide, (or CO, if your favorite reading is the periodic chart of the elements.) Why? Makes meat look fresher.

However, one lawmaker, Congressman Bart Stupak, brought some two-year-old ground beef that had been treated with CO to a Congressional meeting. According to Stupak, it was as red as the day it was purchased. Read more. (But hold your nose!)

7. Pigs’ Feet (Really!)


(Vixs photo)

We are not making any of this up! A scientist somewhere has found that pigs’ feet, the time-honored delicacy way down South, contains huge amounts of collagen, the protein responsible for smooth skin and taunt muscle tone. After that discovery, the inevitable happened: a classy Japanese restaurant in New York starting serving 33 dishes that feature some form of pigs’ feet. Some doctors claim a tasty dish of pigs’ feet is as good for your complexion as a collagen shot.

I would like to say yummy to all this…..but I just can’t bring myself to utter the words.

Hey, let’s be realistic, here. I always thought the true purpose of raising pigs was for the creation of footballs.
More.

Do you have a favorite plastic surgery food?


NEXT: Does our drinking water cause guys to grow breasts?

Shaking the Booty -- Women and Men Gone Wild

While the trend of augmenting buttocks has taken off in the United States, it has now reached the continent of Africa where they have a new reason for shakin’ it.

It all happened because of a hit song known as “Big Bottom” in the African nation, Ivory Coast.

Here’s a YouTube take on it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8dH-4T6fwpw.

Ivory Coast recording artists D.J. Mix and DJ Eloh penned a smash hit, Bobaraba, or, “Big Bottom” in the local Djoula language, intending the tune as a compliment to women with larger bottoms. So when the song plays, many women and a few more men (including macho soccer stars) crowd the dance floor to shake their respective Bobarabas.

(Nobody at the American consulate seems to know if K.C. and the Sunshine Band’s top hit, “Shake, Shake, Shake, Shake Your Booty” has been translated into Djoula.)


Authentic Bobarabas
shaking.

The trend only goes astray as more and more women try to enhance their rear ends by using cheap ($2 each) Chinese supplied vitamin B-12 shots. Unfortunately, B-12 shots only cure vitamin B-12 insufficiency. More.


Authentic, enthusiastic Bobarabas
shaking. (Bazil.Rauback.SXC photo)


Imagine what will happen when the trend reaches America where many plastic surgeons offer buttocks augmentation of the female derrière.

A conversation like this may take place in thousands of American homes:

Wife: Darling, do I look fat in this dress?

Husband: I ain’t touchin’ that question with a ten-foot pole!

Wife: No, really. If my booty isn’t “big bottom” enough, I want to get it enlarged.

Husband: What’s this going to cost me?

Wife: What’s the difference? Don’t you want me to be happy?

Husband: Happiness is having a big bottom?

Wife: Sure! You can’t really dance the Bobaraba with a skinny ol’ bottom like mine! Oh, boo-hoo, boo-hoo! (She’s thinking, “Now! Hit the waterworks!”)

Husband: How ‘bout an unlimited supply of some nice B-12 shots? (Ah-ha! So the husband has been reading the Ivory Coast news!)

Wife: Nope! I want the real thing! I want buttocks augmentation from a plastic surgeon seen on television, with his own fan club and movie star patients. (And she has been watching a lot of American television!)

Husband: Uh, well, B-12 shots are quicker. (He reads the Ivory Coast news daily.)

Wife: Oh, boo-hoo, boo-hoo. You don’t love me! You want me to have a flat bottom! (She’s thinking, “I hope this works; I can’t cry much more!”)

Husband: O.K. forget the B-12 shots. Here’s a blank check for the buttocks enlargement! (He’s thinking: “Maybe now I won’t have to spend the week end moving that 900 pound, 18-piece sectional couch all over the living room to new positions so she can have it back where it first was!”)

Attention husbands and wives: under the strict medical and scientific guidelines known as “looking before you leap,” here’s more on what buttocks augmentation is all about.

The next thing we would all like to know: who’s going to write the next hit song about shaking it in the U.S. bottoms?

A Gecko Foot for Incisions

Surgery helped by a lizard? Ants used for stitches?

Ever wonder how a Gecko hangs from a ceiling all day by one toe?

Turns out, if you look really, really close, a Gecko has millions of hairy, sticky thingies on the bottom of each foot that allows the creature to hang onto almost anything. It even sticks under water.


Gold dust day Gecko.

So what’s that got to do with plastic surgery, you ask? Good question.

Scientists have developed a new bandage that works the same way as a Gecko’s foot. Imagine getting some plastic surgery that has a long scar -- like a tummy tuck -- and then showing people how your skin is being held together by a bandage inspired by a lizard.

The bandage can be folded and refolded, wrapped around a hole in a bladder or used to reseal a segment of intestine after surgery. Read more.

As for ants, it gets even more weird: Certain ants have been used to suture wounds without stitches. The skin on either side of a wound is brought together and the ants induced to bite so that their jaws hold the skin together.

Then the ants are decapitated leaving their head attached with jaws clamped tight until the wound heals!

Of course, that’s mostly used in jungle medicine. Your basic plastic surgeon will probably stick to stitches and needles.

Way down South in Dolly

Dolly Parton has a nickname for her, er, generous bosom. Her inspiration?

Remember the invasion of Iraq four years ago?

When the U.S. Army and Air Force get serious about their work, they refer to hundreds of bombs going off on enemy targets as “Shock and Awe.”



Country singer Dolly Parton, always known for her huge bust, nicknamed them, not something logical like “Massive-Way-Too-Huge-for-a-Tiny-Frame-Implants” but, you guessed it, “Shock and Awe.”

I just hope no explosives are hidden in there!

(Like most Southerners, Dolly is also outspoken. She once said: “I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it would have taken the fire department four days to put it out!”)

It turns out Dolly is a-belly achin’ bout them thar huge knockers a-cause they is a-hurtin’ her pore ol’ back cuz she is a-carryin’ them big ole things ‘round the whole durn day.

(I’m allowed to mock Tennessee accents because I was born there and used to sound just like Sergeant York as a child, uh, that is, I mean, as a little bitty young-un.)


(jzlomek photo)
This is my cousin, my uncle and my
grandfather. He played the Hillbilly boy
guitar player in the movie, “Deliverance.”

Read more about ol’ Dolly: http://celebritycosmeticsurgery.blogspot.com/2008/02/dolly-partons-shock-and-awe.html

However, if you are bosom challenged, there is help. Read more about breast augmentation through the belly button!

Brazilian Butts Rebooted

My dad always used to tell me, “Boy, you are completely technologically reclined!”


your friendly blogger, studying computers to avoid suffering
a misspent youth.

So I was never sure about most high-tech gizmos. In fact, I used to think that “rebooting” meant kicking somebody in the butt twice.

Then I met somebody to whom that had actually happened. Suffering from “Flat Butt Syndrome,” 42-year-old Kim R. in Baltimore had apparently been rebooted so many times her pants were always falling down. Read more.

So she went to see Dr. Ricardo Rodriguez, a Baltimore plastic surgeon who takes care of people with the following additional female rebooting symptoms:

*Needing tops that cover the butt

*Wearing undergarments with butt pads

Padded underwear for that
added booty look.


The solution? Sure, it’s Baltimore but she had a Brazilian Butt Lift anyhow. And now, she’s got back. Although she wasn’t allowed to sit down for two weeks. More.


A basic Brazilian butt. Note, however, the
beach is not Baltimore. Beaches there are, not
sand but crushed crab shells.

Plastic Surgery and the Dating Scene

Some of the “Milestone” events for getting plastic surgery are often for:

*Weddings



If the happy couple is lucky, the pictures will be handed down for generations. (The other 50 percent will eventually cut their despicable ex out of the wedding photos and go on from there.)

So everybody -- especially the mother of the bride -- wants to look sharp. (Here’s a website that follows wedding participants who spring for a pre-nuptial nip or tuck: Lovegevity.)

*Reunions



Suddenly, it’s 25 years later and your old classmates are taking turns telling you how great you look. The 1978 class babe (or stud) is staring at you, wondering how did I ever let her (or him) get away? Considering the dog the high school babe is currently with, you can bet your bottom dollar the former flame is kicking her-or-himself. And you? Lots of cosmetic plastic surgery. Priceless! Read more about plastic surgery and reunions.



*Returning to Dating

(Or, Finding the Sweaty T-shirt that Trips your Trigger!)

So, after many decades, you’ve freed yourself from the old ball and chain. Plus, the kids are off to college and the nest is empty. (Except between jobs and bad marriages, of course.)

Next big step: You’ve signed up with an online dating service and are looking for Mr. or Ms. Right, the person you should really be with. But you also find a big Gulp! stuck in your throat. You’re nervous about your heretofore ignored appearance so you visit a plastic surgeon.

For guys, it’s usually getting the love handles taken off, maybe a little gynecomastia surgery, perhaps an eyelid lift. New-to-dating women usually ask about a tummy tuck, other breast procedures and a face lift.

However, a new dating service thinks perhaps you can skip the knife altogether. Instead, they want you to sniff your new love interest and find the smell pleasant. Even if no soap and shower has been applied! More.

ScientificMatch.com takes a dab of your DNA and, uses a process with a tongue twisting name, “Major Histocompatibility Complex.” The technology then finds a match whose scent is pleasing to you. Of course, the other likes and dislikes are included in your profile which excludes people with scents like yours.

It’s based on real science.

In one famous study, women preferred the smell of T-shirts from men whose genes were most different from their own. Really! In exact, proper scientific language, it’s known as the “Sweaty T-shirt Experiment.” Read more.



All you do for the DNA test is rub the inside of your cheek with a cotton swab.

(Sorry, gals, nothing can be done about the smell of the gene that causes football watching all weekend. And, guys, researchers are still working on locating that mysterious female shopping gene which appears to be connected to the shoe-buying gene.)



Declares Eric Holzle, ScientificMatch.com founder: “DNA matching is the chemistry of our service while values matching is the heart.

“When you share chemistry with someone, you’ll love their natural body fragrance,” he says. “They’ll smell sexier than other people.”

And, hey, don’t sweat it if you sign up. First dates do not require wearing on old T-shirt

What are your best first date stories?

Top Ten Things You Should Never Say to a Plastic Surgeon

1. I’m 45; Make me Look I did at 20.

A plastic surgeon can turn the clock back a little but
can’t reset your appearance to two decades ago. Read more.

2. Write me a ‘Script for Some Extra Pain Killers

Basically, don’t ask a plastic surgeon to break the law. Sure, you can have a prescription for a few pain killers, sleep aids or tranquilizers in connection with a surgery, but don’t try to cop a major score. More.

3. Make me Look like Angelina Jolie (Brad Pitt, etc. etc.)

One of the ways a plastic surgeon has of knowing you know the meaning of “realistic expectations” in plastic surgery is to exclude those who want to look like celebrities. The whole idea is to make the best possible version of you.

4. I want a Face Lift because (my wife divorced me; my husband is seeing his secretary; my dog died) and want to feel better.

Plastic surgeons are trained to screen out people who want the surgery for the wrong reasons. So having surgery when you are going through a divorce or some other deeply troubling event is usually out. More.

5. Why Do You Charge So Much for only Two incisions?

If you are in the office of a plastic surgeon who is board certified in plastic surgery, otolaryngology (head and neck surgery) or facial plastic surgery, it requires anywhere from four to seven years of extra training after he or she receives the M.D. degree. Not everybody has the smarts, coordination and determination to get there. More.

6. I Want Liposuction because I don’t like Working Out.

Actually, you’ll have the best results if you can get off the coach, watch what you eat and work out. Your surgeon may even tell you to go home and lose weight before he’ll give you liposuction, which is not a method of weight control. More.

7. I Want to Get off the Table Immediately Afterwards

If you want an invasive procedure, you must show the surgeon you have time to take care of yourself and let your body heal after surgery. More.

8. I Sued My Last Plastic Surgeon!

Among people for whom rejuvenation surgery is probably not right are some with an odd condition (body dysmorphic disorder) in which no amount of plastic surgery is enough. And no results are ever good enough. So they file ungrounded lawsuits. More.

9. Help Me Fudge a Health Insurance Report, Doc

See #2. Besides, almost all plastic surgery is paid up front.
Very few procedures are covered by insurance. More.

10. Don’t Bother checking my Blood Pressure (Glucose level; EKG reading, etc.etc.)

No way around it: you gotta be healthy enough for plastic surgery. Want to wind up like Donda West? If you have a chronic health condition like high blood pressure, diabetes or heart woes, the only way your plastic surgeon can go forward is to check your medical tests. Read more about why your plastic surgeon does not do the health checks him-or-herself.

New Mirror Shows Your Future Look (Probably!)

The mirror has probably driven more people to the offices of plastic surgeons than anything else except reunions and weddings.

But if you hate looking in the mirror now, just wait a few years.

Soon, you can see what your reflection looks like a quarter or half century into the future. So, maybe you can use the mirror to get an idea when to schedule some cosmetic plastic surgery. After all, you never know how far in advance your favorite plastic surgeon is going to be booked!

It works like this: cameras are mounted all through your home. They see you when you’re naughty and nice and while you are:

• puffing away on cigarettes


• pigging out on twinkles, cookies and colas


• having beer and chips for dinner


• living on the couch

(Remember, we make up nothing around here! Read the report for yourself.)

Next, the high-tech gizmos process all that information through special computers, add what your parents look like and plaster a picture of what you are very likely to look like on your mirror, given known aging patterns and your current habits.

Say, you haven’t quite dropped the cigarette habit. You get up one day and say “Mirror, mirror on the wall,…” or whatever and presto! There, before your unbelieving eyes is you, 30 years later, gray and haggard from smoking and coughing.



On the other hand, those cameras also see you eating well, getting proper sleep, lacing up your running shoes and carrying your gym bag out the door four or five times a week.

In that case, when you go to the mirror, the future image popping up next to your current self is slim and trim, has rosy cheeks and just a little gray hair. Older, but probably kinda distinguished and very, very healthy.

Stop and think. What will your reflection show in 2032? If you have unhealthy habits or choose the wrong plastic surgeon, it could be something like the picture below! Yes, be afraid! Very afraid!



Do you suppose we will still say YIKES! then?

Top Five Plastic Surgeries Your Insurance Will Cover (Maybe!!)

There are at least five. Here are the most commonly done.

1.Eyelid surgery

With more baby boomers -- the largest percentage of our population -- passing the half century mark every day, legions of upper and lower eyelids are starting to sag like fleets of Mac trucks crossing rope bridges.

What your insurance company doesn’t want you to know: if your upper eyelids are starting to fall over your eyeballs so that your vision is obscured, they should cover the procedure. Average cost of eyelid surgery in the United States: $3825.

Number of blepharoplasties done in 2006: 210,000 according to the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery (ASAPS).

Sagging eyelid

2.Breast reduction

Extremely large breasts cause back and other health woes and
will eventually cost your insurance company even more money if left
untreated.

The magic words that cause even the stingiest insurers to let their cash
flow like fountains: “I have back, neck and shoulder pain due to my
extremely large breasts.” But don’t try to bluff. You may have
to show a doctor’s report, proving the condition exists.

Some breasts are so large, the weight on the woman’s bra straps have
worn notches into her shoulder bones. Medically, the condition is known
as shoulder grooving.

The total cost of breast reduction surgery averages about $8500 in the United States. That usually covers the surgeons’ fees, facility costs, the anesthesiologist, post-op visits and medicines.

In 2006, plastic surgeons performed 104,455 breast reduction procedures, according to the ASPS.

3. Breast reconstruction

That is a four-to-six hour procedure that is usually done in one of
four ways to rebuild the female breast, or breasts, after a mastectomy.

The procedure can keep you off your feet for one to six
weeks, depending on the reconstruction method used.

As far as your medical coverage is concerned, there is simply no wiggle room for the insurance company. Current law requires them to cover the operation. Be sure and say you’ve read the Women's Health and Cancer Rights Act.

Fees vary widely depending on whether mastectomy is included.
Number performed in the United States in 2006? 56,176, according to the ASPS.

4. Hand Surgery

Plastic surgeons are highly skilled in operating on tiny bodily structures so many also perform hand surgery, usually to relieve carpal tunnel syndrome. But the surgeons may also rejoin amputated fingers or even move a toe to a hand so a person can work again.

Hand surgery rejoins nerves, muscles, tendons and bones to bring back normal function and feeling. The various types of hand surgery vary so much in costs, an average cost can’t be pinned down.

What does your insurance company need to know? Easy! You can’t work without your hands functioning properly. (That way, you can continue writing checks to your insurers!)

2006 saw 155,810 hand surgeries, according to experts.



A 57-year-old English woman shows the difference cosmetic hand surgery can make. The age revealing veins in her left hand have been removed by plastic surgery. Compare the treated hand to her other hand for a sense of before and after. We hope she likes it because a U.S. insurance company would not pay for it.

5. Facial tumor removal.

A plastic or dermatological surgeon may have to take off a dangerous facial growth -- like basal cell carcinoma -- and then transplant some donor skin over the wound.

Your insurance company needs to know the plastic or dermatological surgeon is preventing a much more, expensive condition, something that will cost them even more money in the long run.

Removing a facial growth by electrodessication and curettage runs from $250 to $500.
By excision with a scalpel, about $1200.
By Mohs surgery from $2000 to 2500.
If you have a Mohs surgery in an operating room as an outpatient, plan on about $4000.

The American Academy of Dermatology says about one million cases of facial skin cancer crop up yearly. Overall, 3.9 million tumor removals were done in 2006, says the ASPS.

HINT: Most insurance companies routinely reject the first request for coverage on almost any procedure. It’s because most people then forget about it all together.

Those in the know send a second request which is often approved, especially if you show the procedure is not to make you look better but for serious medical reasons.

Nip Tuck Nation? No, PhotoShop Nation!

Elf Ears = Better Hearing?

Hungarian plastic surgeon, Dr. Lajos Nagy, (now allegedly working in NYC) says on his website he surgically creates elf-like ears for people like these two supposed patients, below.

Plastic Surgery Before Birth?

Next, we read in the plastic surgery news that the latest trend in rejuvenation surgery is prenatal plastic surgery.

Surgeons are now allegedly repairing body parts before birth as evidenced by this sonogram of an unfortunate fetus with a long, unattractive nose in the picture, below.

But miracle of miracles, look at the nice nose job in the after picture. And performed while the patient is still in the womb!



What these two items really have in common is not plastic surgery but PhotoShop. All the above before and after plastic surgery pictures are “100 percent PhotoShopped,” according to Beverly Hills Plastic Surgeon Jason Diamond, M.D., F.A.C.S., a Dr. 90210 plastic surgery star in Beverly Hills.

The amazing thing is how many blogs first fell for Dr. Nagy’s hoax. Swallowing it hook, line and sinker were Plasticized; skepticalcommunity.com; boingboing.net; trendhunter.net; speeple.com; geekologie.com and metafilter.com, among others.

But eagle-eyed blog Meisters seeing right through the stunts -- in addition to your humble scribe at CosmeticSurgery.com blog -- include blogskinny.com and health.propeller.com.

Say, I’ve got a nice bridge in Brooklyn for sale and it’s real cheap, too! Any takers?

Top Ten Things Your Plastic Surgeon Won’t Tell You

1. You’re going to get old anyhow.
Cosmetic plastic surgery does not stop the aging process. Read more.

2. Sure, I’m board certified -- in geriatric medicine.
Many board certifications don’t mean anything for plastic surgery patients. Ask what the surgeon is certified in. More.

3. You need a shrink, not a plastic surgeon.
Some patients are never satisfied and can’t get enough rejuvenation surgery.

4. You can get this procedure for 15 to 30 percent less out of town.
Overhead -- rents, salaries and the cost of operating a business -- are higher in large urban areas. But if you drive out of town you can get the same quality for less.

5. Future effects of surgery? Who Knows?
If you have a breast augmentation, you will have at least one more operation some time in your life to replace the implant. Medical science does not know the future implications of all procedures.

6. Sure, I’ll do your forehead lift. But my specialty is breasts.
Ask your surgeon how many times weekly he or she does the procedure you want. Odds of a good outcome increase if the surgeon performs that operation two to three times a week.

7. It’s the anesthesia you really need to worry about.
If you are put under a general, ask if the anesthesiologist is board certified in anesthesiology. If you will be put to sleep, ask who is going to monitor you. Sometimes, a nurse anesthetist is O.K.

8. My office is not really the best place for surgery.
Some procedures should be done in a certified surgical center or a hospital. Ask if the surgery center is AAAHC or JCAHO certified. Read more.

9. Me? I went to dental school.
Some states allow dentists to perform plastic surgery.

10. You could have four more procedures overseas at
the same price.
Going oversees for plastic surgery can be much, much cheaper but is fraught with risk. Dr. 90210’s Dr. Kotler adds the seven smart questions to ask before having cosmetic surgery overseas.