Top 7 Plastic Surgery Foods

1. Beer for Breast Growth

Okay, so it’s not food! And it won’t replace professional breast augmentation any time soon. But beer has massive amounts of nutrients, as any dedicated beer drinker will attest after he (or sometimes, she) has gained a huge stomach. (They don’t call it a beer belly for nothing!)


Boza Beer -- brewed in Bulgaria
(TheMightyQuill photo)

But this beer promises to enlarge breasts and not stomachs! Boza Beer in Bulgaria is now big business because European Union members are traveling there to bring Boza back to their significant others….by the case. Will the suds be a cohort to the King of Beers, join royalty and become known as the Queen of Beers? And why not? We’ve got Queens of various nations, such as England and Denmark, as well as the Queen of Country Music, the Queen of the Hop, the Queen of Mean, the Queen of Soul and the royalty who rule the Isle of Dogs and the Kingdom of Yap. More.

2. The F-Cup Cookie


(Nippon photo)

You must travel to Japan to munch this product, but the buzz is that a couple of “special” cookies a day will eventually create an F-sized bustline, thereby replacing the need for surgical breast augmentation. Supposedly, the eats contain a “secret” Asian ingredient that mimics estrogen, the female hormone. Read more. A plastic surgeon’s take? Not likely!

3. Lollipop Weight Loss

Have you ever wondered what’s up with Hollywood celebrities being seen with a lollipop jammed into their mouths? At first, I personally thought it was a refreshing new wave of juvenile regression, with pseudo-adults making the quarter leap necessary to get back to full childhood.


Britney Spears with a lollipop.
(TMZ Photo)

But, no, it could be more unbelievable than that. There is actually such a thing as a weight loss lollipop. The magic ingredient this time? An African herb known as hoodia gordoni. And why a lollipop? It’s the delivery method.
You’re supposed to consume hoodia slo-o-o-o-wly for it to knock off the pounds. More.

(If you’re interested, read about body contouring, the plastic surgery procedure for people who have lost massive amounts of weight -- without any lollipops.)

4. Chocolate Facial

This is a fantastic development! Talk about a total regression to childhood! You get to wear chocolate all over your face like you did when you were a kid; licking the bowl when mom baked a cake. What’s more, this facial supposedly replaces the need for not-so-tasty, facial skin rejuvenations such as dermabrasion or facial peels.

If you’re on the more mature side, you don’t have to ask for a so-called “chocolate facial.” It’s also known as a CoCo2 facial. More.

5. Botox Cookie

Ever notice how wrinkled your tongue is? Lots of grooves and wrinkly tissues in there? Well, a picture is worth one thousand words, right?


In the U.K., a U.S. cookie is known as a “biscuit.”
(Photo: Botox biscuit by su-lin via Flickr)

Well, it appears a couple of pranksters at Flickr.com put a cookie (hey, not the F-cup kind! Wrong procedure!) in a Botox container and took a picture. You can’t really buy a Botox cookie, but the concept is more interesting than a weight loss lollipop, don’t you think?

6. Cosmetics for Meat and Fish

While we’re on the topic of plastic surgery and food, there is one type of food that may be getting its own type of cosmetic makeover.

The U.S. meat industry wants to pass H.R. 3115, a bill which would allow the industry to treat meat, fowl, and fish with carbon monoxide, (or CO, if your favorite reading is the periodic chart of the elements.) Why? Makes meat look fresher.

However, one lawmaker, Congressman Bart Stupak, brought some two-year-old ground beef that had been treated with CO to a Congressional meeting. According to Stupak, it was as red as the day it was purchased. Read more. (But hold your nose!)

7. Pigs’ Feet (Really!)


(Vixs photo)

We are not making any of this up! A scientist somewhere has found that pigs’ feet, the time-honored delicacy way down South, contains huge amounts of collagen, the protein responsible for smooth skin and taunt muscle tone. After that discovery, the inevitable happened: a classy Japanese restaurant in New York starting serving 33 dishes that feature some form of pigs’ feet. Some doctors claim a tasty dish of pigs’ feet is as good for your complexion as a collagen shot.

I would like to say yummy to all this…..but I just can’t bring myself to utter the words.

Hey, let’s be realistic, here. I always thought the true purpose of raising pigs was for the creation of footballs.
More.

Do you have a favorite plastic surgery food?


NEXT: Does our drinking water cause guys to grow breasts?