Thursday, September 11, 2008

Plastic Surgery Stops Bullies in their Tracks!

When I was in grade school, no self-respecting kid would tolerate a bully, the weakest, whiniest and most puny kids not withstanding.

We weren’t tough guys; it’s just that any boy over the age of oh, 18 months, would get far worse when his dad found out his kid had succumbed to bullies and forked over his lunch money, baseball cap, pocket knife, the family IRA or whatever.

The standing rule was: face up to bullies and fight back, even if there were dozens trying to shake you down.

I think the Father’s Instruction Book had a chapter about one punch on a bully’s nose stopping the lot of them. The one exception about fighting back: if you were in an iron lung, wheelchair or in traction, your punching ability was somewhat restricted, making it understood you might miss the bully’s nose. But you had to fight back. According to The Father’s Instruction Book, there was no shame in fighting back and losing.

But in reality, I never did come across a bully who was put off by one -- or even one dozen -- punches in the nose. I think they became bullies in the first place because they were born without pain receptors. So logic for nine-year-old bullies was simple: “Hey, we can’t feel pain. Let’s just pick on people! So what if they hit us back?”

Your lunch money or your life!
(iynmeyer photo)

However, all of that was before plastic surgery stopped the assaults. In England, a new way of dealing with the problem is by rejuvenating the body parts bullies like to taunt other youngsters about.

Some British surgeons are giving children and teens surgical rejuvenation so that bullies won’t be picking on odd-looking features or making punch-deserving jokes about large noses or ears or small breasts. (Read more.)

(Disclaimer: kids’ lunch money may still be up for grabs, even after plastic surgery!)


*Mr. Douglas McGeorge, head of the British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons (BAAPS,) recently revealed he had reshaped the nose of one youngster and supplied breast implants for others to stop teasing and bullying. For instance, one younger teen was picked on and bullied at three separate schools, because of an unattractive nose. Her parents were about ready to go “case-o” -- British slang for “going bonkers” -- before hitting on the idea of ponying up 3,500 Pounds (that’s $6121.50 U.S. dollars) for
rhinoplasty. Her parents say the problem was solved.

Breast Implants

Because some bullied teens are still growing, the thoughtful doc has put in expandable breast implants, which help to gradually expand the bosom. (Read about how expandable breast implants work.) Additionally, a nine-year-old in Scotland begged his parents for surgery to rid his face of a mole because school bullies called him “Moley” and beat him up after school because of his appearance. (More about mole removal.)

But the trend is not news. Back in 2006, it was reported that Britain’s National Health Service was springing for cosmetic plastic surgery for bullied youngsters in Scotland. (More.)

What do you think? Will plastic surgery stop U.S. bullies? Or, should we concentrate on pain receptor transplants for bullies?

*In the British Isles, M.D.’s are known as “Mr.”

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