Friday, February 08, 2008

Human Fat for Biofuel?

Many websites and newspapers reported a scheme wherein a Norwegian businessman living in Miami concocted a scheme to collect 3000 gallons of U.S. liposuction fat and turn it into 2600 gallons of bio-diesel.

Imagine the possibilities! Vehicles of a whole nation powered by cheeseburgers, gooey chocolate deserts and gallons of ice cream. All while sharply reducing foreign oil imports and flabby waist lines at home!

Will this take your car 40 miles?

And cremation? Forget about it! Just write in your will you want to become auto or truck fuel and spend, if not eternity, at least oh, maybe 40 to 50 miles burning with a little diesel fuel or some liquid corn! Maybe our bios from now on will list how many miles per gallon we’re worth. I can imagine future obituaries: “Man Mountain Dean was a big, big man. At six-foot-five and 300 pounds, he could send a Toyota 4 Wheel Drive Truck on a 2000-mile journey. And that was after death!”

Anybody ever see the 1970-ish Charles Heston movie Soylent Green? You could call this liposuction plan Soylent Gas.

Read More about the scheme to collect human fat for fuel.

Only trouble is, there are about a gazillion rules and regulations relating to what can be done with medical waste. Sending it to recycling centers with used French fry oil are noticeably absent.

Besides, the hospital says they never heard of the guy, hardly do any liposuction work and serve a low-income area where people tend not to get fat because they don’t eat all that often.

Falling for the bogus story was the Norwegian newspaper Aftenposten, U.P.I. and the Pittsburg Post-Gazette, among many other web sites.

Remember, if it sounds too good to be true, it will probably be in your morning newspaper!

What’s your favorite bogus story? (We list ours below.)

[] New Plastic Surgery Freeway in Beverly Hills.

Convenient off ramps at Tummy Tuck Place,
Liposuction Drive and other popular motoring
destinations in and around Beverly Hills.

[] Plastic Surgery Shapes Patients Ears like Elves’ for Better Hearing.

Pointed ears, collect the sound of music better.

[] “Miracle” Plastic Surgery Tape beats Real Surgery

Your humble blogger undergoing the rigors of
plastic surgery by tape.

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