Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Top Ten Things You Should Never Say to a Plastic Surgeon

1. I’m 45; Make me Look I did at 20.

A plastic surgeon can turn the clock back a little but
can’t reset your appearance to two decades ago. Read more.

2. Write me a ‘Script for Some Extra Pain Killers

Basically, don’t ask a plastic surgeon to break the law. Sure, you can have a prescription for a few pain killers, sleep aids or tranquilizers in connection with a surgery, but don’t try to cop a major score. More.

3. Make me Look like Angelina Jolie (Brad Pitt, etc. etc.)

One of the ways a plastic surgeon has of knowing you know the meaning of “realistic expectations” in plastic surgery is to exclude those who want to look like celebrities. The whole idea is to make the best possible version of you.

4. I want a Face Lift because (my wife divorced me; my husband is seeing his secretary; my dog died) and want to feel better.

Plastic surgeons are trained to screen out people who want the surgery for the wrong reasons. So having surgery when you are going through a divorce or some other deeply troubling event is usually out. More.

5. Why Do You Charge So Much for only Two incisions?

If you are in the office of a plastic surgeon who is board certified in plastic surgery, otolaryngology (head and neck surgery) or facial plastic surgery, it requires anywhere from four to seven years of extra training after he or she receives the M.D. degree. Not everybody has the smarts, coordination and determination to get there. More.

6. I Want Liposuction because I don’t like Working Out.

Actually, you’ll have the best results if you can get off the coach, watch what you eat and work out. Your surgeon may even tell you to go home and lose weight before he’ll give you liposuction, which is not a method of weight control. More.

7. I Want to Get off the Table Immediately Afterwards

If you want an invasive procedure, you must show the surgeon you have time to take care of yourself and let your body heal after surgery. More.

8. I Sued My Last Plastic Surgeon!

Among people for whom rejuvenation surgery is probably not right are some with an odd condition (body dysmorphic disorder) in which no amount of plastic surgery is enough. And no results are ever good enough. So they file ungrounded lawsuits. More.

9. Help Me Fudge a Health Insurance Report, Doc

See #2. Besides, almost all plastic surgery is paid up front.
Very few procedures are covered by insurance. More.

10. Don’t Bother checking my Blood Pressure (Glucose level; EKG reading, etc.etc.)

No way around it: you gotta be healthy enough for plastic surgery. Want to wind up like Donda West? If you have a chronic health condition like high blood pressure, diabetes or heart woes, the only way your plastic surgeon can go forward is to check your medical tests. Read more about why your plastic surgeon does not do the health checks him-or-herself.

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